95 | Planning Your Meals with Purpose

Deciding what to eat can be the source of an enormous amount of mental clutter. Whether you're managing meals for yourself or an entire household, the seemingly simple question of "What's for dinner?" can carry a heavy load of assumptions and expectations. 

Join in as we explore strategies to shift meal planning from a burdensome task to an organized, value-driven process. With these strategies, you'll be equipped to create a meal planning system that aligns with your lifestyle, reduces stress, and enhances the joy of sharing meals together. 

Remember, there's no right or wrong way to meal plan — it's all about fueling yourself and your loved ones to keep you energized to thrive! Tune in to transform your meal planning experience into a pleasant and organized part of your daily routine.

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Transcript

Intro: Welcome to A Pleasant Solution, Embracing An Organized Life. I'm your host, certified life coach, professional organizer, and home life expert, Amelia Pleasant Kennedy and I help folks permanently eliminate clutter in their homes and lives. On this podcast will go beyond the basics of home organization to talk about why a clutter-free mindset is essential to an aligned and sustainable lifestyle. If you're someone with a to-do list, if you're managing a household and if you're caring for others, this podcast is for you. Let's dive in.

Welcome to Episode 95, “Planning Your Meals with Purpose.” Hey y’all! Between the topics of daily household systems and the division of labor within a home, I frequently find myself talking about meal planning. Across the board it seems like a pain point for many individuals and families. Whether you’re only in charge of yourself or an entire household, deciding what to eat can be the source of an enormous amount of mental clutter. Pause for a moment. If I were to ask you right now – “What’s for dinner?” – would you want to punch me, scream at me, roll your eyes, grumble… or do you actually know the answer? For many years, I found it to be the most aggravating question another human could ask me. I’m confident you’re nodding along with me right now.

It's because the question is loaded. It’s loaded with the assumption that you have all the answers. That you have the brain space, capacity, and forethought to know, plus the time to have already figured it out. It’s loaded with the assumption that women are the eternal source of food and inherently are responsible with feeding the crowd. In today’s episode, I want to step back a bit from the ledge and provide a couple alternatives to losing your cool, ordering out, or scooping food on the drive home.

First off, I’ll always advocate for you to have a series of conversations with your partner about swapping or rotating the responsibility for meal planning. This is your first takeaway. Outlining that it’s not one person’s sole responsibility to manage the kitchen and manage the meals is worth the effort. It’s about shifting the conversation about food to one that’s more anchored in your family’s values. Everyone needs to be fed, therefore, discussing ways for folks to contribute to the meal planning and preparation process in a win for all. Please know that I get that the solutions offered in this episode may feel like an additional lift at first, yet if you’re experiencing daily low-level irritation, you have the power to change the dynamic.

Meal planning is a complex task. I want you to really hear me. Without guidance or a structure, it’s not simple. Because there are unlimited possibilities, it’s not as straightforward as it appears. You may have grown to avoid it in your household because of its complexity. I’ve chatted with folks who were never taught to cook, how to meal plan, or how to select ingredients. I’ve coached folks who felt shame around their eating habits and their stressful reactions to the daily dinner routine. Perhaps you’ve been solely responsible for meal planning and meal preparation for so long that your partner has a level of learned helplessness. All of these experiences, plus many more, combine to create your thoughts and feelings about food.

When my children were young, I tossed out the idea of a complete sit-down dinner and instead operated from a sense of courses. Children are always hungry, so I’d start the “meal” a solid 30 minutes to an hour before we’d actually have our main items. I’d put out fruit, vegetables, or crackers for them to munch on at lunch or dinner. At breakfast, I’d allow them to have a “first breakfast” like cereal before their protein was ready. This helped keep them occupied and, in the kitchen, while I put together something simple for them. Because my son grew up with food allergies, our meals were almost always “build your own” style, with all the ingredients available on the counter. Our rule was that you didn’t have a choice about having a fruit and vegetable, but you did have the power to choose which one. You didn’t have a choice about having protein, but you did have the power to choose which one.

This set up an early practice of getting others involved and engaged with the meal. I’d rotate between the three kids and ask them for meal suggestions. I was perfectly happy making the same thing each week or every other week if they requested it. So, here’s your friendly reminder to lower your tolerance for mess and mistakes. This is your second takeaway. Ask them to grab items from the fridge or pantry and have them bring them to the counter. Ask them what they like to eat and expect the answer to evolve. These seemingly small moves will build engagement over time with the work involved in planning and preparing meals. As they grow, get them to wash, cut, chop, or simply sit with you and watch to witness the work that goes into a meal. Use the language of “work” and “contribute.” Encourage them to set a timer to see how long tasks actually take.

My son is now fifteen. He’s learning how to plan meals through an elective at his Major League Soccer Academy. The work of planning what you’ll eat when, organizing an ingredient list, shopping, and prepping can be taught, and it can be learned. I actively involve him in my planning process because with boys we often need to be more explicit. There’s still gender bias that indirectly plays out in households and as parents we’re responsible for including boys in the work and care of our homes.

So, what do your folks like to eat? Conduct an updated survey. Everyone’s tastes evolve, so folks may have a wider range than previously thought. Then, keep it simple. There are lots of ways to build a healthy plate, yet remember that you can lean on the basics: a protein, a carbohydrate, a fruit, and a vegetable. Your third takeaway is that you get to make up the rules in your own home about what works. I like this general guideline, because when I sit down to plan, I have a structure to follow. I buy the fruit people will eat. For vegetables, I stock the freezer with frozen staples then I buy three days of fresh vegetables at a time. I keep it simple by allowing technology to do the work: if a veg can be roasted, there’s very little work. I’m sure the same is true with the air fryer, even though we don’t have one. I’ll microwave frozen vegetables or blanche them quickly in hot water. Technically, I don’t “plan” this half of the meal. I just follow the rule: one vegetable, one fruit – moving on.

Full transparency, I often do the same with the other half – the protein and the carbohydrate. There’s a list of protein sources my folks like and the same for carbohydrates. We mix and match. I ask early in the day, sometimes even via text, “Do you want cornbread or couscous? Chicken or ground beef?” Our household value is that nutrition matters. The total sum of the meal or flavors doesn’t always have to “make sense.” It doesn’t have to meet some sort of theme or type of cuisine rules. We’re allowed to build meals from parts and pieces and also color outside of the lines, if what we’re eating is nutritious and delicious.

When I make a meal folks like, I write it down in my notes app. There are lots of great apps out there to support your meal planning journey. Again, simplicity of time, space, and being is a core value of mine. I jot down “lamb meatballs with couscous.” I keep that running list accessible so that if I’m at the grocery store and have no idea what’s for dinner – ugh – I have my list of meals and don’t hesitate to access it. The bank of ideas is always growing with this approach. It’s rewarding to add to it because it repays me two-fold in the future when I sit down to plan for the month.

So, first you’ll want to keep your family’s values and purpose top of mind when planning. That may be “a meal that can be prepped and served in 30 minutes or less.” It may be about cleaning up – “a meal that requires as few pots and pans as possible.” Or it may be “sitting down together for at least 15 minutes twice a week” or “low sodium.” When you start with your values or purpose, you have a lens through which to see your meal planning.

Next, you’ll want to grab a whiteboard calendar or blank paper calendar. If there are four weeks in a month, you’ll have 28 squares. Give yourself a win by crossing off the days where you’ll order out, go on a date, or have a fend for yourself style meal. Let’s say that’s on average two times a week. You’ll have 20 squares remaining. You need 20 ideas that match your family’s values. Before you sink into overwhelm know this… you can hit “shuffle” on those meals next month. You won’t need 20 new meals next month. Perhaps you swap out 2-3 recipes the following month, IF you’re feeling bold. AND you can give yourself permission to max out and hit shuffle.

Once you know that you need 20 meals, start with the protein. We’re a chicken heavy family, so I’d say 12 meals will start with chicken. Four meals will probably have steak or ground beef. That leaves four slots for pork, beans, or fish. I haven’t yet cooked with tofu, yet that’s always a great option. Breaking your meal planning down in this fashion makes it more like a puzzle. Sure, it takes practice, but with a structure, you can then fill in the blanks. What are your top five winners? Slot those in. You’re a quarter of the way done. What can you make in your sleep? Slot those in. Want some variety? Slot it on the weekend when you have an opportunity to make a mistake. When you think about meal planning from its core elements – protein, fruit, vegetables, carbohydrates – you have much more flexibility.

Our brains are often at capacity. Ease your burden by treating yourself to your favorite beverage and brainstorm with your team. You’ll be surprised by what they think of that’s long evaporated from your mind.  You’re more organized than you think. Keep a list. Use the list to fill in the slots on the puzzle. Give yourself several “free parking” spaces or transfer ownership of certain nights to another member of your household. You’re doing the best you can with skills and resources you have. Lean into what works and what you like. Lead your kitchen from a place of love and wellness. There’s no wrong way to meal plan. There’s no right way either. It’s all about fueling yourself and others so you can continue being awesome. Talk to y’all soon.

Outro: If you’ve enjoyed today’s podcast and want to stay up to date on what’s happening each month in A Pleasant Solution, I invite you to join my email community. I share relatable stories, post upcoming events, and offer a weekly mini solution. Click on the resource in the show notes or visit apleasantsolution.com to learn more.